rendezvous 2 - how do i handle negative emotions?

(based on the Q&A session 'what's on your mind?' with br. sattvika chaitanyaji on 1st feb 2007 at kalina)

here we first need to understand that negative emotions are in the realm of the mind which in turn affect the other two instruments that we have, viz. the body and our intellect.

negative emotions are therefore the result of a negative mind-set, where we entertain a certain pattern of thoughts which then shape our attitudes towards most things we face in life.

the various negative mind-sets that we entertain could be classified as -

1. exaggeration - where we magnify the problems and give it more importance than is due; or we minimise the positives in our lives.

2. mind reading - we jump to conclusions and assume that something bad is bound to happen and that someone is against you.

3. black or white - an all-or-nothing attitude where if something doesn't turn out perfectly you see it as a total failure.

4. dwelling - we focus on one negative situation and keep thinking about it excessively.

5. discounting - you discount the positive and never give credit to yourself or others.

6. expectations - you get angry and frustrated when things go in a certain way or people don't behave in a certain way.

7. labels - you label yourself or others with negative interpretations.

8. blaming - you blame yourself or others for all problems.

emotions, even negative ones, by themselves are not a problem. its how we handle these emotions which create the problem. eg. sometimes you need to consciously use anger for the benefit of someone you love or care about.

negative emotions are misplaced positive emotions. they are like the other side of the same coin. the trick is to be able to focus on the positive emotion to replace the negative ones. eg. jealousy can be converted into admiration.

many times we get comfortable with our negative emotions. we must strongly want to overcome our negative emotions.

the most important first step in handling negative emotions is acknowledging them, and not trying to fight them. the more you fight the negative emotions, the more you strengthen them! instead of trying to tackle individual emotions we must address our mind-set; we must open our minds to bring about this change!

the formula for successfully handling our negative mind-set is being 'OPEN',

where N is for saying 'no' to our minds when it tries to blame people, things and situations around us for the state of our mind. we have to take responsibility for the state of our mind.

and E is for managing the 'energy' in us through taking care of our physical body (proper diet and exercise), our pranic body (through pranayama), our mind (through positive emotions), our intellect by entertaining high inspiring ideals, and our spiritual self through faith (in god, a higher power)

and P is for 'positive' reaffirmations and substitution of negative emotions with positive ones. mercilessly reject the negative emotions and replace them with positive ones. chanting of mantras are effective means of sending in positive reaffirmations into our own subconscious mind!

and O is to be able to 'observe' the state of our mind through introspection and be able to be alert and ensure that our mind does not slip and get sucked into a negative state.

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