Q&A with swami tejomayanandaji

guruji was invited for a satsang by shri ajay piramal on 2nd september 2007 at their nicholas piramal office complex to commemorate the completion of 5 years of their study class which is conducted by br. sattvikaji.

guruji addressed the audience of almost 250+ people (click here to read the synopsis) which was then followed by a very interesting question and answer session. here is a synopsis of the QnA session.

Q1. is 'samata' a zero-sum game? it almost sounds like we have to keep adjusting and accepting whatever happens with respect to people, objects and experiences. this could mean that we lose in many of the interactions. can it ever be a win-win deal?

guruji's answer - no. samata is not possible without fullness. when there is fullness then there is no sense of loss even when we are giving.

Q2. how do we translate this knowledge into practical application? why is there a gap between our understanding and our actions?

guruji - our knowledge is like the sugar that has been added to a cup of tea. the tea still tastes bitter because we have not stirred the sugar. similarly the knowledge that we acquire has to be assimilated within us and then it will automatically reflect in our actions. and the way to get the knowledge assimilated in us is through regular 'satsang'.

Q3. when should i strive to achieve and when should i accept things as they are? how do i know the difference and find the balance.

guruji - 'strive to accept'!
in everything we do there are two aspects :

1. we have to put in effort and do certain things
2. we have to just let it happen.

eg. eating food. we have to put in effort to eat the food. and then we just allow the digestion to happen. or when gardening or farming we put in effort with respect to preparing the soil, sowing the seeds, etc. but finally we have to just let the plants grow. there is nothing we can do at this stage.

we have to use our 'vivek' to know what i can and must do and when to step aside and let it happen. as gurudev used to say, 'do the best, and leave the rest'.

Q4. we expect and do things for others and then we get disappointed. how do we handle this?
guruji - don't expect. but then you might think this is very impractical.

1. our expectations have to be right. eg. we should not expect sweetness from salt. then there will be no disappointment.

2. we should expect according to the ability of the person. be reasonable in our expectations.

do not insist on fulfilment of our expectations. in fact we should always remember that we are not able to fulfil our expectations from ourselves. we have so many unfulfilled expectations from ourselves. so then how can we get disappointed when others cannot fulfil our expectations from them.

Q5. why can't other people accept me as i am?

guruji - if we truly accept others as they are, then there is a good chance that they will also accept us as we are!

Q6. what if others have unrealistic expectations from us? how do we cope?

guruji - we should make our limitations clear upfront. if we can satisfy the expectation, then do it immediately. and if we cannot, then make it clear. be truthful and honest. let people know, 'if you have expectations from me, then please tell me clearly'.