basking in the light - III

we were a few usual suspects in guruji's kutiya late one evening after dinner. the discussion veered towards bringing up children. guruji mentioned how most parents ask their children to study and tend to get worked up about it too. the parents don't seem to realise that the child is also as much, if not more, concerned about the examinations.

guruji narrated an anecdote to highlight this irony.

a ship has set out to sail and there is a very cheerful, happy-go-lucky kid who is part of the crew. the captain tends to always fret about this kid and believes that this kid is not very serious about his duties.

finally the captain is not able to stand the discomfort any more and decides to speak to the kid. he calls the kid into his cabin, sits him down and then proceeds to tell the kid that he is a crucial part of the crew and that he has a very important role to play. he then informs him that among the passengers there are some very important people and that he should pay extra attention at his job and ensure that he does not make any mistake.

the kid stares at the captain with an innocent look and says, 'but captain sir, i too am on the ship!'. thereby implying that he too values his life which for him is more important than any other lives. so it is only natural that he would take extra precaution to protect himself before worrying about anybody else!

in the same way, the parents should remember that the exams would be as important for the children as it is for them.

- sandeepany sadhanalaya, mumbai, 27th march 2007

how to manage anger

(this is the fifth session of 'what's on your mind?', the question and answer series being conducted by br. sattvika chaitanya at kalina in santacruz, mumbai. this session was conducted on 5th april 2007.)

the fifth session was based on the question 'how do we effectively deal with anger?'

sattvikaji started off the session by explaining how in today's modern life we are living in the midst of conflicts. and many of us have a false notion that anger is essential to deal with these conflicts. we even go to the extent of considering anger to be a sign of strength and power! but the bhagwad gita (chp. XVI) tells us that anger is one of the three doors to our self-created hell.

but in contrast, a calm mind is a happy mind, an efficient mind, a loving mind, a creative mind, a strong mind and a spiritual mind. when the mind is calm, the intellect is sharper & decisions are rational right & rewarding. the gita defines such a person as a yogi; one who is unaffected by the pairs of opposites.

what is anger?
“anger is nothing but an attachment for an object, when expressed towards an obstacle between ourselves and the object of our attachment.” - swami chinmayananda

sattvikaji mentioned that anger comes & overwhelms us at a certain moment. if we win that moment we will be fine. he then shared the key tips for anger management by saying that we need to look at anger at two levels and address it accordingly -

• handling impulsive reactions & provocative situations - by identifying 'stabilizers' and holding on to them to weather the storm
• handling deeper causes of anger - by finding an 'anchor'

some of the stabilisers that he shared with us included :

• delaying our response but not denying it
• broadening our angle of view
• chanting a mantra and doing a 'mantram walk'
• deep breathing & breath observation
• setting up an inspiring ideal and focusing on that ideal
• cultivating tolerance & patience

we then tried to understand the deeper root causes of anger.

1. kama - desires which created expectations which in turn turned into insistence and then finally anger when the expectations are unfulfilled.
2. raaga & dvesha - strong likes & dislikes
3. attachment - which leads to fear of loss and subsequent anger
4. taking things personally at our ego level

the anchors that he then indicated to us included :

• acceptance - accept life and move with the flow
• minimise likes & dislikes with the help of tapas (austerity) & vrata (vows)
• choose your sense inputs (balance & moderation)
• choose role models & visualise yourself as being calm & composed
• cultivate 'sattva guna' (pure & noble traits)

sattvikaji finally concluded by highlighting that a person who has attained this equanimity and calmness of mind gets established in the 'truth'!

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the presentation used by sattvikaji can be downloaded by clicking on the following link : http://whats-on-your-mind---kalina-talks.googlegroups.com/web/anger%20management.ppt?gda=jWDBBUUAAADGvikJHVjX_C0KD1rTtWd2-EMI0PVpMwQxyYVwQZH9AGG1qiJ7UbTIup-M2XPURDQBXUmJOfcH_PSnwicjgtGKgpuClco-BFKssGxc48tqVQ.

and if that doesn't work you can try copying this link to the address bar of your browser. or you could right-click on the link and select the 'save target as' option.

(and please do send in your comments and questions you would like sattvikaji to answer in these sessions.)